Honesty, Helping Your Child Find A Way To Tell The Truth
Helping kids find a way to tell the truth is the best way to encourage truthfulness in your child is to be a truthful person yourself.
Consider this story:
Carol decided to limit the number of play dates between her three-year-old son, Chris, and his friend Paul. The boys had been fighting a lot recently, and Carol thought they should spend some time apart. So when Paul's mother called one afternoon to arrange a play-date, Carol told her that Chris was sick. Overhearing this, her son asked, "Am I sick mommy?" "What's wrong with me? "Carol taken back by her son's frightening look, told him she had only said he was sick because she didn't want to hurt Paul's mother's feelings.
Carl then launched into a complicated explanation. Of the distinction between the various types of lies and Chris was confused. All he understood was that fibbing is sometimes okay and that, in fact, it's what people do. Your child takes his cues from you, so it's important that you try to avoid any kind of deception, even a seemingly cautious one.
Never, for instance, say something like,"Let's not tell Daddy we got candy this afternoon." Let your child hear you being truthful with other adults.Carol would have been better off saying, "This isn't a good day for a playdate and I'm concerned that the boys were fighting so much last week. I think they need a break."
Another way to promote the value of honesty.
Don't react if your child lies to you. Instead help her find a way to tell the truth. When the mother of four year old Janice walked into the family room one afternoon, She saw that her large potted plant had been toppled and that several branches had been snipped off. She knew right away what had happened. Once before, she had seen Janice making her Barbie dolls climb the trees and she told her daughter at the time that the plants were off-limits. When Mom demanded an explanation, a guilty looking Janice blamed the family dog.
Janice's mom reacted sensibly. She interrupted her story child's story and said, "Janice, I promise I won't yell. Think about it for a minute, and then tell me what really happened." After a moment, the child owned up to her misdeed. As a consequence, Janice had to help clean up the mess and was not allowed to watch television that afternoon, but her mom made sure to emphasize how much she appreciated her daughter's honesty. In doing so, she taught the child and important lesson.
Even if being honest is always isn't easy or comfortable, you and other people always feel better if you tell the truth..